This is me. I’m cute, right?
Sometimes, I’m accused of being a bit of a goofball.
Cute and goofy I may be, but there’s one thing I’m not. And that’s STUPID.
My human, on the other paw …
Let me tell you a tail.
My human had an old friend over. The kind that she’s known for a long time, not the wrinkly kind.
There’s one thing that the English LOVE. Probably more than anything else. Tea and biscuits, or Tea and cake. Or Tea and more Tea. They just can’t get enough of the stuff.
I LOVE tea, and I love milk too. I know that when the kettle’s boiling, I should always run and sit on my human’s feet. When she gets that white bottle from the fridge … I walk under it, pulling my good girl face and sometimes, I get a little drop to taste.
So, my human had her friend round and it’s customary in England to ‘first things first, wanna cuppa?’
Out came the tea. Out came the biscuits. Out came Bella’s good girl face.
I have to tell you about these certain biscuits. They’re called Jammy Dodgers. They’re crunchy and chewy all at the same time. They’re PAWSOME and THAT’s what my human and her friend were eating.
”Look Bella”, my human said, ”I’ve got a biscuit. It’s YUMMY. Its buttery and delicious and crunchy and it goes really nicely with my tea. You want some dont’ you Bella”
I shut my mouth and concentrated on what she was saying, keeping my good girl face on.
”Look at this biscuit Bella” she said, as she showed it to me and nibbled it all around ”MMMMM, it’s gooooooood”
Some drool hit the floor.
Her friend laughed. ”You’re mean” her friend said to her. ”Look at her little face, she’s drooling”.
My human laughed too. And got another biscuit.
She showed it to me.
She nibbled all round the biscuit. All the time she was looking at me. saying ‘MMMM, it’s delicious Bella, you want some?” … ”OH, not that bit … that’s bit’s too good. I HAVE to eat that bit Bella”
As I watched the crumbs falling, more drool hit the floor.
‘Bella?’ she said in her good girl voice. ‘Look at this. I’ve eaten all the biscuit and now there’s only the really jammy heart bit left. It’s the best bit Bella”
More drool hit the floor – I REALLY wanted some.
”You know I really love you, don’t you Bella? And look – this heart here, it’s meant to be isn’t it? You’re supposed to have the heart bit aren’t you, my pretty little love” she said.
There was a bang outside. I snapped my head towards the noise, worried about intruders. When I looked back at my human, the heart was gone. She had a big grin on her face. And her cheeks were fat.
She had stuffed it in her mouth, just like a little piggy, when I looked the other way.
I WAS ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTED. I gave her a FILTHY look. NOT FUNNY. NOT FUNNY AT ALL.
She was laughing and so was her friend.
”Well, that’ll teach you Bella. Look away and it’ll disappear. Where’s it gone Bella??” she laughed and teased.
I sulked off to the other room, while the humans carried on.
OR DID I ?
Of course not.
I PRETENDED to sulk off to the other room.
I waited for my moment. Waited until neither of them were looking and I snuck into the kitchen, quiet as a mouse. Put my paws up on the counter and SNATCHED the pack of biscuits. haha! No one noticed.
I took them to my humans bed and ATE THE LOT.
ALL OF THEM. THEY WERE PAWSOME.
I left lots of crumbs on the pillow ”Because I love her”
And the Moral of the Tail ??
”If you look away, it’ll disappear”